Skip navigation

So I started printing hextraction game board pieces after printing the basic board.

The painful side is there’s going to be 51 straight hours of printing to print just the “starter” tile set. I really hope this game is a hit with my playgroup.

I’ve started building gundams and such models again. I’m working on a flame toys transformer model of windblade at the moment. You can tell they’re trying to mimic gundam but just aren’t there.


I’m also trying to finally learn gaslands and a billion suns. I’m hoping gaslands kind of takes off with my play group. But I need to actually learn it first.

We’ve been playing a lot of games lately and it’s been fun having a board game night. Our misuse of beyblades is super amusing.

Empty Epsilon

Empty Epsilon is kind of on hold. It was costing me like $300 in food when I’d hold it and I just can’t do that right now. People offered to chip in but that’s just adding another level of complexity to my already scattered brain. Max didn’t seem interested in wrangling that aspect so I’ve kind of let it go.

I’m working on rebuilding the game so that it is on debian to match the developer and get the deployment in ansible so it’s easier to maintain in the future. It’s a lot of work and similar to what I do at work so going is really slow due to not wanting to “work”. I kind of wish I had friends who would come over and just chill so I could show the work to as I go. But no one really seems to get what I’m doing just the end state.

AI Art

I’m working on stable diffusion and playing with AI art. I know a lot of people hate it, but since I’m not sharing what I make with it outside of a few friends, it’s just an amusement for me and fun to see what I can make my characters do.

Training is super confusing and I wish I could wrap my mind around it as I think having my choice characters trained as models would make it so much easier.

3d Printing

My prusa mk2.5s/mmu2s finally had a catastrophic failure and ripped out the temp probe. I replaced it with a Revo hotend and am loving it. I’ve not changed a nozzle so many times to new sizes EVER. It’s got me trying to print a lot of things again.

I’m working at a jewelry company in the IT department. It’s kinda chill but it pays the bills.

Currently I’m working on my emty epsilon rig which is taking up a lot of my free thought time. We’re building a custom control panel for the science station which should hopefully be pretty neat.

We’ve got a thursday night game night running that has a consistent 3 people showing up. I wish more would but that’s asking a lot from my friends list these days.

So today I was once again reminded why I don’t consider my self even a moderate republican despite the fact that I hold a lot of conservative views. The RPT held a session recently on who could have a booth and who couldn’t. The log Cabin Republicans (the homosexual republican sub group if you don’t know) petitioned for a booth again this year. It was brought up for discussion. Instead of listening to this guy:

The party instead sided with this:

Which, given all the jokes about liberals needing a safe space…I mean really? This is what I think of as “loving hate” and it’s not healthy. It show’s the actual hurtful face in my opinion because it’s the one that pretends to care but is clearly here to hurt a group of people subversively. At least with people like Matt Rinaldi I openly know where he stands and it’s adamantly against me, which gives me a place to start.

“Now Bobby,” you say, “We don’t ALL feel that way.” and that’s true. So I listened to more of the debate and then we came to this bit.

So I think it was quite clear that not allowing them to speak in the debate about them getting a booth is definitely not open minded. This IS what people like me see when this debate comes up. Thankfully the gentleman was there for the debate was well able to handle it and summed up my opinion on the debate well:

And he was right. It’s clearly what was said. Don’t beleive me? Let’s hear the vote!

I know people make the Reagan quote argument of “Bobby, you should join us because, as Reagan says, ‘The person who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is a friend and an ally — not a 20 percent traitor.'” But I’m sorry that vote quite clearly says that being gay is 80% of what you think a conservative gay man would be. I mean if you won’t even take the gay people who hold ALL of your tenants except for being gay, what the hell would I do there? Because I don’t believe in everything on the RPT site. Far from it.

So the thing that gets me. Is R.A.M.P. gets a booth there. Which is against tenant 164. What is RAMP you say? Well that would be the Republicans Against Marijuana Prohibition. So what the Republican Party of Texas just said is that drugs are less of an issue than gay people are. Congratulations.

And that my friends is why I’ll not be a Republican.

For the past several weeks I’ve been functioning at about half what I figure I should be able to.

All of my energy is being spent trying to be and appear normal at work.

Talking to friends and seeing them completely drains me of energy now. Which sucks. A lot. I went to see a close friends new house and after the initial panic attack of having to see someone I managed to spend a few hours there but was exhausted and near tears at the end of the night.

I have friends that are trying to talk to me and think that talking about this will somehow make things better. What it does instead is drive me to drink and cry and have panic attacks where I think I’m close to having an actual heart attack when I try to talk about things.

I know that this is how I feel: Cartoon about being an introvert. But this time it’s like I can’t seem to recover. I can’t ever make it back to feeling normal.

I have so much to do at work that I’m starting to feel like I can’t deliver on. I owe someone a resume I promised as well but don’t know what to put on it. I feel like all of my skills and knowledge are base level skills and not someone who has 22 years with linux, 10 in hosting, 5 in security, 7 with esxi, etc.

I had to drop out of a convention thing I really wanted to go to because I really didn’t feel like I’d be a good representative for the convention. I need to quit the con because I’m not doing it any good but handing the server off is scary to me because I don’t know what people will think of my setup AND I have to teach people how to maintain it.

I want to get back to streaming but Max doesn’t seem excited about any of it. I need to find someone who doesn’t drain me who is interested in helping with sound/lighting for the stream maybe so I’m not trying to play, keep max entertained, AND keep the stream functioning. I’m still not happy with how our apartment was re-arranged last year. It doesn’t really suit my needs. I’d worked so hard to get all the camera angles and lights in a functional place and now I can’t seem to get the energy to do it.

My pump it up has fallen into disrepair. It is so far behind on updates for stepmania i’m having troubles with the note skins now. I really want to upgrade to pump it up prime but don’t see the point now since prime 2 is due out in december and those games are not cheap (around $2,000 for board and game and I really need the newer board.)

I’ve been playing with ideas for my artemis/Empty Epsilon setup. I have 4 lights right now and I really want to make some small things for the weapons console to show the status of the torpedo tubes. But will power on that is low since I’m afraid to have people over to play it.

I’ve been thinking about getting rid of my board game collection. I kept imagining having large board game nights where a friends were over and playing games but I’m not social enough with the above issues right now. I feel like it’s a burden on Max to play games. He’s really into this farm simulator things so I let him play it most of the time.

I really hate that I don’t know what to say to my friends about what’s going on with me and that it’s so painful to try to talk about it. I know one in particular is probably getting really mad at me. Max offered to “take care of it” when I almost went into a crying fit because I didn’t know what to say. But I’m afraid he’ll somehow make it worse. I wonder if this is how people end up slowly going agoraphobic, lose their job and everything else. I really need to talk to my GP and see if they have something to take.

Bright things, I’m thinking of trying to print a 180mm tall atlas for battletech. Oh and I have a 3d printer that I’m enjoying a lot.

I fear work tomorrow.

I’ve been working on my Firestorm Armada stuff a lot recently.  I really need to play more but I definitely enjoy painting these miniatures.


Read More »

I’m having one of those nights where I feel stuck.


Read More »

We obviously can’t have the living room in the state it was in for the pump it up arrival.  So now we’re embarking on a weekend long reconstruction of our living space.

We’ll most likely never host a Furry Fiesta meeting of any large scale again but that’s OK.

For amusement here are pictures of our living room mid renovation. :p005 006 008 002

So I decided I wanted a necron Destroyer Lord in my army for Warhammer 40k.   I’ve decided I want mine to be a little different.  Here he is beside a normal destroyer.  I’m going to build up a base a bit like he’s running up a cliff to help with the height.



Necron Lord


Last week I found an add on craigslist for a pump it up machine in my price range.



so I bought it.


So far it’s been good.  I’ve had to move some sensors around since the player 1 upper-left arrow only had a single sensor on it and the upper-right was abnormally loud.


I plan to systematically clean out the years of spilt cokes over the next few weeks.  It will be slow going since I want it to be functional throughout.


For the moment at least I’m really enjoying it.  I’ve worn myself ragged.   I’m having to reteach myself how to jump and have to remind myself that I’m not as strong or young as I used to be.  I have every intention of fixing the strength part.



Read More »