I’m having one of those nights where I feel stuck.
This may turn into a bit of a rant so I’m going to try to divide this into four subjects. Work, Personal Life, Hobbies, Furry Fiesta.
Work:
I’m so tired of technical support. It’s not something I enjoy and it’s not really what I want to do with my career. My problem? I’m really good at troubleshooting but my skill set doesn’t help move me to an administrative position.
My company is apparently utilizing my long term skill and vision for how support should work to help guide the redesign and deployment of the support department. While I like the idea of this I’m not sure it’s fair to base the ideas on how to run a support group based on the skills, desire and knowledge of someone who doesn’t want to be doing that as a career.
They surprised me when they gave me a spot bonus to cover my medication after they found out that I haven’t been taking one of my medications due to how our insurance is structured. I like the upper management but there is a very weak middle management at the moment which they’re working on.
The lower management is green and they’re trying. I’ve been trying to use my influence and knowledge to let them know when there are issues that need to be addressed. This is of course to my detriment because I have to recognize what is a truely important issue and what’s important to me. Over all I think this company can succeed and I’d like to be a part of that. But gods do I want out of support.
Hobbies:
Board gaming has relatively stopped and my electronics projects are on hold. I really want to play more boardgames and have been thinking about inviting people over for a game night with all the tables setup so people can play multiple games at once. I’m sure with the conference table and the folding table we could swing 3 games in that room. I want a bigger apartment or house so bad.
Max and I were going to try to start a podcast geared towards people wanting to get into hosting with basics on how to deal with support and helping with proper ways to setup a simple server and such. This hasn’t really gotten off the ground because we ran into trouble with format and such and recording wasn’t as simple as I’d hoped.
Warhammer 40k painting is going OK. I do this more than anything at the moment. I have zandrekh, a necron lord and a few troops completed and a lot of unpainted/half painted models I’m working on. Currently I’m working on a squad of space marines who are metallic blue. I should have them done before my vacation is over. I’m hoping Max will be able to get a force at least playable because I really want to play the game. I know he’s frustrated that I want to play the game while he just wants to paint minis. I’d hoped we’d be able to paint and work together on things but it seems I’m more into this hobby than he turned out to be. Which is sad.
I have created my army list here. I own a decent chunk of it but it will take me a while to manage this.
My diorama plan is partially built but I haven’t dedicated time to complete it. I have several species up there already but no shadow box and haven’t grabbed the dragons yet. I have 140 some odd models coming from reaper in may so I’m hoping to use some of those.
Furry Fiesta:
I tried to quit. I need attention right now and a lot of it. I told them that I didn’t think my work with Furry Fiesta would ever result in the recognition I wanted…. So I’m not vice chair. Figure that one out. :p We’re 3 months out and I have a LOT of loose ends to tie up now.
Personal Life:
Things are OK I guess. I have to decide in the next little bit if we’re staying in our current apartment or moving. We keep moving down into smaller units with the intention of saving money to buy a house and all that’s happening is we’re moving to smaller units. I’m very frustrated right now.
My arcades are in storage, Our living room is dominated by a table so I can’t buy a kinect like I want. Max wants to stop paying for the storage unit and buy a storage house out on his parent’s land. I don’t like this idea because I’m afraid they’re just going to get filled with dust, and eventually a leak will destroy them or cause them to rust out and I’ll be heartbroken. If that happens I’m afraid I’d blame Max and it would start me down a spiral of resent… The arcades mean a HUGE amount to me even if I don’t get to use them. They’re really all I have left from when I was in Lubbock or with Shelly. They represent nearly a decade of my life. I’m thinking about just going through the soul crushing idea of getting rid of them. If I don’t have them then they can’t get destroyed in a shed…
I’ve been dealing with a lot of feelings lately. I’m feeling very out of sorts again. It’s not really a midlife crisis. Just dissatisfied when it comes to how I feel about some people and what I want. As with all problems of this type the other people have a laundry list of problems of their own to deal with so dealing with me should be at the bottom of their list.
My health isn’t getting any better. I need to find a new doctor. I’d hoped Max would find us a new family doctor, I asked him to, but instead he’s decided to keep going to the same office we went to previously. So now I’m kind of put out and back to square zero. I’ll figure it out soon I’m sure.
I’ve been trying to learn the innards of wordpress lately. To that end I now have 3 wordpress sites I’m running. This one which is linked to my LJ and soon facebook and twitter.
One for a podcast idea max and I tossed around which isn’t furry related but aimed more as a helpful q&a thing for hosting. I love the idea but I’m not really confident max and I can pull it off and I’ve gotten some bad comments on it already which has kind of shaken my confidence in the idea.
The third is for a project I’m building that I don’t want my real name or handle attached directly to unless it becomes successfull because it involves questionable acts. ;p
My healthcare has become very expensive recently but my manager and HR guy have worked hard to get some issues with the insurance worked out. I’ve also bought a treadmill. Since it was put in place Saturday I’ve walked on it every morning except this morning. I’m proud of myself even if it is only 15-25 minutes a day and less than a mile walked usually.
I’m trying to get things straightened out but with only a week down it’s not showing exceptinal results just yet. :p
I’ve joined ifit.com and fitocracy. I’m not sure if I’m going to keep both of them. Ifit tracks everything automagically while fitocracy had a bit of a community behind it which is nice. I joined a group for people who started ove 300lbs but most of them started at 301 or 302 not 430 like I did. They’re gong a lot more than I think I can and that’s a bit of a drag.
So got stuff back from Dr. They want me to go on a drug that will cost me $2,440 every 3 months. The crappy part is I have “High deductible insurance” Which normally would mean I pay $3000 out of pocket and it’s covered….Except it’s a pre-existing condition so everything I’m paying right now doesn’t count. So not including Dr bill’s themselves my medication cost alone could exceed $5,440 this year…Yeah Life’s great.
Testing a wordpress plugin.