Skip navigation

This may turn into a bit of a rant so I’m going to try to divide this into four subjects.  Work, Personal Life, Hobbies,  Furry Fiesta.


I’m so tired of technical support.  It’s not something I enjoy and it’s not really what I want to do with my career.   My problem?  I’m really good at troubleshooting but my skill set doesn’t help move me to an administrative position.

My company is apparently utilizing my long term skill and vision for how support should work to help guide the redesign and deployment of the support department.    While I like the idea of this I’m not sure it’s fair to base the ideas on how to run a support group based on the skills, desire and knowledge of someone who doesn’t want to be doing that as a career.

They surprised me when they gave me a spot bonus to cover my medication after they found out that I haven’t been taking one of my medications due to how our insurance is structured.  I like the upper management but there is a very weak middle management at the moment which they’re working on.

The lower management is green and they’re trying.  I’ve been trying to use my influence and knowledge to let them know when there are issues that need to be addressed.   This is of course to my detriment because I have to recognize what is a truely important issue and what’s important to me.   Over all I think this company can succeed and I’d like to be a part of that.   But gods do I want out of support.



Board gaming has relatively stopped and my electronics projects are on hold.  I really want to play more boardgames and have been thinking about inviting people over for a game night with all the tables setup so people can play multiple games at once.   I’m sure with the conference table and the folding table we could swing 3 games in that room.   I want a bigger apartment or house so bad. :(

Max and I were going to try to start a podcast geared towards people wanting to get into hosting with basics on how to deal with support and helping with proper ways to setup a simple server and such.   This hasn’t really gotten off the ground because we ran into trouble with format and such and recording wasn’t as simple as I’d hoped.

Warhammer 40k painting is going OK.   I do this more than anything at the moment.   I have zandrekh, a necron lord and a few troops completed and a lot of unpainted/half painted models I’m working on.    Currently I’m working on a squad of space marines who are metallic blue.   I should have them done before my vacation is over.   I’m hoping Max will be able to get a force at least playable because I really want to play the game.   I know he’s frustrated that I want to play the game while he just wants to paint minis.   I’d hoped we’d be able to paint and work together on things but it seems I’m more into this hobby than he turned out to be.  Which is sad.

I have created my army list here.  I own a decent chunk of it but it will take me a while to manage this.

My diorama plan is partially built but I haven’t dedicated time to complete it.  I have several species up there already but no shadow box and haven’t grabbed the dragons yet.   I have 140 some odd models coming from reaper in may so I’m hoping to use some of those.


Furry Fiesta:

I tried to quit.  I need attention right now and a lot of it.   I told them that I didn’t think my work with Furry Fiesta would ever result in the recognition I wanted….  So I’m not vice chair.   Figure that one out. :p  We’re 3 months out and I have a LOT of loose ends to tie up now.


Personal Life:

Things are OK I guess.  I have to decide in the next little bit if we’re staying in our current apartment or moving.  We keep moving down into smaller units with the intention of saving money to buy a house and all that’s happening is we’re moving to smaller units.   I’m very frustrated right now.

My arcades are in storage, Our living room is dominated by a table so I can’t buy a kinect like I want.  Max wants to stop paying for the storage unit and buy a storage house out on his parent’s land.   I don’t like this idea because I’m afraid they’re just going to get filled with dust, and eventually a leak will destroy them or cause them to rust out and I’ll be heartbroken.  If that happens I’m afraid I’d blame Max and it would start me down a spiral of resent…  The arcades mean a HUGE amount to me even if I don’t get to use them.  They’re really all I have left from when I was in Lubbock or with Shelly.  They represent nearly a decade of my life.   I’m thinking about just going through the soul crushing idea of getting rid of them.  If I don’t have them then they can’t get destroyed in a shed…

I’ve been dealing with a lot of feelings lately.  I’m feeling very out of sorts again.   It’s not really a midlife crisis.  Just dissatisfied when it comes to how I feel about some people and what I want.  As with all problems of this type the other people have a laundry list of problems of their own to deal with so dealing with me should be at the bottom of their list.

My health isn’t getting any better.   I need to find a new doctor.  I’d hoped Max would find us a new family doctor,  I asked him to, but instead he’s decided to keep going to the same office we went to previously.   So now I’m kind of put out and back to square zero.   I’ll figure it out soon I’m sure.

I generally avoid political talk unless it’s light banter.

Today I’ve been reading up on a lot of my facebook and lj friends and I’ve found that I’m actually deeply hurt and saddened by what has gone on.

First, Chic-Fil-A has every right to say what they want just as I have every right to not purchase their product.  Which at this point I have no intention of.

If you’ve known me very long at all you know that I have a tendency to adamantly support people’s freedom to exercise their religion.  I’ll back you 100% up to the point that you start to butt up against someone else’s freedom to exercise their beliefs.  In those cases I always suggest you both smile, look the other way and go about your business.  This will work for 99% of all religious conflicts you’re likely to encounter in America as long as everyone allows everyone else their own private beliefs.

While I like that they have that freedom and that both pro and anti-gay advocates all have the freedom to express their views, I am hurt by several people and what they’ve had to say to me directly.  They’ve told me that *I* was persecuting them and their beliefs because I want to marry Chris.  My marriage would be between him and me and no one else.  The worst it will ever do to any of you I know would be that you get an invitation to an event that I’ve long wanted have and to have my government recognize it.  If anything by lobbying your congress to prevent me from doing something that has no real affect on you, it should be me who feels persecuted.   Sadly, being open and out about loving a man for so many years, this week, this action and appearance of outright vitriol from some people I considered colleagues and friends.  For the first time I actually feel like I know true hatred.  I’ve felt that hopeless pang that people want to hate me for something that doesn’t involve them.  It’s hard for me to understand.

As a lot of you may or may not know, I have a very fluid belief system when it comes to religion.  I’ve read the bible, parts of the Qu’ran, parts of the Torah, the gnostic scriptures, the writings of the Dalai Lama, even some books on paganism and I’ve found truths that I like in all of them and things I didn’t.  I feel this has helped me find a path in my life that allows for relative happiness and the ability to support others in their quest for finding their path or lack of path in the case of some people who choose no faith.

I know I’m not a particularly nice person sometimes.  I know I’m not the best person or even right as much as I’d like.  But I try to be good and I try to respect your beliefs as I’d wish you’d support me in mine.  You know that I’m not particularly flamboyant, but I have no shame in loving Chris.  You know that I try to help  you where I can in both your personal and professional careers.

So I want to know from those of you who know me and have openly said such things to me this week.  Setting aside the bible thumping because there are people who do that, settings aside whether you feel chic-fil-a got a beat down on their rights.  Just looking at the interactions you and I have had, what have *I* ever directly done to you that makes you want to actively seek out and rip one of my life’s goals away from me?

Nemesor Zandrekh from the front.



The body is essentially painted except for the washes and the sealer.  I’m not super happy with my colors up close but he actually looks good from a distance.  I still need to paint one part of the staff and do some touch up and He’ll be complete.   I wish I had a better eye for color.  It would make this so much easier.




I’ve done a lot of tedious painting on him.  My lack of skill is showing some with this model but I’m still mostly happy with how it came out.   I’m trying to decide how I want to paint his weapon so the hand is not done yet.  The head needs some more cleanup before I attach it.  It will probably get added tomorrow night.



I also need to invest in a whitebox and dig out my real camera.  The lighting and webcam aren’t playing along well with macro photography. :p



Well I started working on zandrekh.  I’ve decided He’s gong to end up having a lot of gold and silve on him since he’s supposed to mentally be trapped in the old times and ways. I’m playing with some ice blue glowing on his shoulder pads so we’ll see how that works out.




After playing with this I’ve decided I’m definitely going to prime in black and paint up from there.   As you can see it makes it much faster to get a semi-decent looking boy than the greenskin primer did. Neither is anywhere near finished at this point but the boy looks a lot better than the nob in my opinion.   I have to pained every detail of the nob whereas black works as a default color on the boy really well.  See the boots and the unpainted leather straps on the boy for an example of what I’m talking about.

This has also solidified that I have no intention of running an orc army beyond this 420 points that came with Black Reach.  I’m not enjoying these guys like I do the necrons.


So I’m two coats in on my orcs test painting to see which route I’m going to take.


At this point in the game based black with green skin looks the best.  but that’s because you can’t really see the wash on the other two yet and there is not strong contrast.   I’m relatively sure the center option is out since it uses army green which really doesn’t suit orc skin.  He’ll probably be simple greened tomorrow. or when I find my simple green jar one. :p

I picked up a destroyer lord top the other day.  I’m thinking about not fitting it on a destroyer body but instead using a  tomb kings skeleton horseman horse for the body.  Just clip its head off and pop on the body.   I just have to find a place to pick up a sprue instead of wasting $35 on the set.

I’d really hoped to have both the orcs and marines from our starter box cleaned and primed by week’s end but it looks like that’s not going to happen.   I’ve been doing the orcs and max the marines but there’s just not enough resources being pumped into this.
I’m also testing a plethora of cross post programs at the same time.   If all goes well I’ll be bothering Livejournal, Facebook, and Twitter with that oxford coma. 😀

I’ve been trying to learn the innards of wordpress lately.  To that end I now have 3 wordpress sites I’m running.   This one which is linked to my LJ and soon facebook and twitter.

One for a podcast idea max and I tossed around which isn’t furry related but aimed more as a helpful q&a thing for hosting.  I love the idea but I’m not really confident max and I can pull it off and I’ve gotten some bad comments on it already which has kind of shaken my confidence in the idea.

The third is for a project I’m building that I don’t want my real name or handle attached directly to unless it becomes successfull because it involves questionable acts. ;p

My healthcare has become very expensive recently but my manager and HR guy have worked hard to get some issues with the insurance worked out.   I’ve also bought a treadmill.  Since it was put in place Saturday I’ve walked on it every morning except this morning.  I’m proud of myself even if it is only 15-25 minutes a day and less than a mile walked usually.

I’m trying to get things straightened out but with only a week down it’s not showing exceptinal results just yet. :p

I’ve joined and fitocracy.  I’m not sure if I’m going to keep both of them.   Ifit tracks everything automagically while fitocracy had a bit of a community behind it which is nice.  I joined a group for people who started ove 300lbs but most of them started at 301 or 302 not 430 like I did.  They’re gong a lot more than I think I can and that’s a bit of a drag.

So got stuff back from Dr.  They want me to go on a drug that will cost me $2,440 every 3 months.   The crappy part is I have “High deductible insurance” Which normally would mean I pay $3000 out of pocket and it’s covered….Except it’s a pre-existing condition so everything I’m paying right now doesn’t count.  So not including Dr bill’s themselves my medication cost alone could exceed $5,440 this year…Yeah Life’s great.

Testing a wordpress plugin.