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I can’t sleep and my tooth hurts.

I keep thinking about going back to Lubbock… The thought just won’t leave…I would
have to see if goldbard would let me stay for a month or two because I couldn’t go
home again.

I’d feel bad for leaving shelly but I already feel insanely guilty anytime I do anything
involving furries because I’m with her. I don’t know what to do…

I had a strange thought about being dead earlier…The the that would suck most about
that is after a year people would stop coming to your grave and would start to forget
you were ever really alive..If I were dead I’m sure Shelly wouldn’t be able to visit my
grave much because she’d be in the wrong part of the state.

Eventually she would find someone else to be with..Like mom did with my
dad..Ultimately I guess I’m expendable…I have no magical skill that sets me
apart..Shelly is at least good with numbers…I can just see amateur algorithms in my
head.

I have the curse of knowing that someone will die before I see them again…I sometimes
wonder if that works while looking in the mirror.

well I’m going to go take some pain killer and try to get back to sleep since I forgot to
re-install Furcadia…I wish I knew what I wanted with that place…

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